SALIMA
Welcome to another Dysfunctional Family! Today’s topic: my bias is dating someone, boohoo!
CHRISTINA
People can date whomever they want. Famous or not famous… Done.
DEANNA
Mostly I agree, idols can date whoever they want. I don’t really care. However, recently Widney punk’d me into thinking Zico was dating Clara and I had this strange feeling of sadness come over me. But I probably would have gotten over it in 20 minutes and the thoughts “traitor” definitely didn’t cross my mind.
TL;DR: Fans are insane and long live BYUNTAE!
SALIMA
In regards to ByunTae – I think a lot of fans are also mad because they didn’t know about it. Isn’t it true that hardcore fans usually know who their bias is dating before everyone else does, and they keep it a secret to preserve the sanctity of their bias? Maybe the “traitor” stuff comes from the fact that they kept it hidden from even the most hardcore fans.
CHRISTINA
Wow, don’t get me started… Since when did the idols have to ask permission for whom they can or cannot date? They don’t have the responsibility nor do we have the right to know about their personal lives… I’m done.
WIDNEY
Hahah, long live BYUNTAE indeed! Buuuut we’re all a bunch of old ladies. So I don’t think we reflect normal K-pop fans, who are mostly elementary students. I think we need to let our inner pimpled- faced, gullible, geeky, lonely girls out to feel what these kids are feeling. I don’t believe they REALLY think that would ultimately date either Taeyeon or Baekhyun themselves. However, as a pre-teen or a teen, you don’t know how to express your feelings like normal people therefore you lash out. I think we should give these kiddies a pass.
And to answer DeAnna and Christina: Don’t forget these companies end idols encourage these kids to think that way. They have been brainwashed. Sasaeng fans don’t just happen, the companies create them.
BRIE
Give these kiddies a pass? They’re throwing a tantrum and Internet bullying (and bullyin in person. See: Calling Baekhyun a traitor). That is unacceptable. They don’t get a pass. These fans need to find something better to do with their lives.
DEANNA
They need a hobby. Like crocheting. But it isn’t just K-pop fans. American teeny-bopper fans are the same. There have been crazy fans for a long time. I am sure people snuck into the Beatles houses, or at least tried. But, as an old lady, I have my own love life issues, I can’t care about an idol’s.
SALIMA
Oh please. You’re telling me if your bias started dating you’d be all good? I know for a fact Widney stopped liking Rain when he started dating Kim Tae Hee.
CHRISTINA
Yeah. I would be fine. Justin dated Britney. I was cool with it. GD dated that Kiko chick. I was cool with it. It’s their lives and not my problem. Maybe that’s just me. Gives me another thing to make fun of. *giggles*
DEANNA
If Zico started dating, I would have a moment of sadness (Like I did when Widney punk’d me) and then, to be honest, it would pass. Because, right before Widney told me she was joking, I was trying to figure out ship names and was going to ship them hard core. Also, I have my own pairings of idols I wish would date each other. (GD and BEG‘s Ga In)
WIDNEY
Yes! OMG, thank you, Salima, lol. I mean it’s not that I stopped liking Rain per se, but I stopped being obsessed about him. And I tell you, only obsession would get me to buy this fool’s album. For real yo! He ain’t that talented for me to buy his shit like they are hot cakes fresh outta the oven. I am not ashamed to say that I loved Rain for his body. And therein lies the problem. The companies don’t market these kids as human beings with brains and talent. They market them as pretty people who you could have if you buy enough of their merchandise and who promises to stay single for as long as they can “out of loyalty” to their fans. That’s straight boyfriend/girlfriend talk yo!
Ohhh, and let’s not forgot how much more intense K-pop is compared to any other pop out there. First of all Korea is a small country. In America, unless you live in L.A. the chances of you meeting your bias are slim. So to many of us fans Justin and Britney, Brad and Angelina feel like they live in another word. But to many of the K-fans, their bias is just two-three buses away. They know their company, parents and address where they can stake out for days. So the bias really feels like the guy next door, on whom you have a major crush.
NICOLE
I love it when there’s drama in the K-pop world. I read a lot of translated K-netizen comments and they’re mostly mad at ByunTae because they were pretty discretely open about their relationship on social media, which was supposed to just be a space for fans. So K-netizens are not mad they’re dating, they’re mad ByunTae disrespected their fan space.
Does Korea as a whole have a problem with idols dating? Whenever I read comments and see the thousands of likes on particular K-netizen posts, it really can’t just be the fans. Like is this a cultural thing or am I reading into it too much?
MELISSA
I don’t know how I would feel is my bias was dating because none of mine have been confirmed dating. But I think I would actually judge the girl to see if she is actually a good girl for him because I have a high respect for him. Of course I’d go apeshit, but more than anything I want my bias’ happiness and that includes if he is dating someone even if it’s just because she’s cute. I can’t do anything about it but I think I would probably live some part of my life telling myself how much better I was than her for him. So delulu.
WIDNEY
Melissa, the whole time I was reading your response, I was thinking to myself, “What are you, his mother?” Fans like to think they know these idols but honestly, we don’t. So how as fans do we know what’s good for them? And yes, DeAnna, I just agreed with you.
DEANNA
OMG, I was just going to ask if Widney was agreeing with me or if the world was ending?
In response to Melissa: How can you judge if a girl is “good enough” for “your” (read as: yours and fifty million other girls’) bias? This is what I don’t understand. I pay money to see them perform and make enough moolah to be popular for them to go on variety shows etc… That is it. I have no stake in any other part of their lives. Yes, even Zico. Unless they want to pay my loan bills then I will be all up in their lives.
NANA
There are people out there with legitimate social disorders, but the majority of the time, incidents like the Baekhyun “traitor” one are perpetrated by so-called “fans” that are plain bonkers. Unless you have a medical or psychological condition that causes you to be unable to differentiate between real life and fantasy, it’s on the individual to know their own reality. Don’t start slinging mud at idols just because they show their human side. ALL humans have feelings and are allowed to be happy. What I would love to understand is how some fans become so completely and utterly obsessed with idols. What is the tipping point where they go from a fan to a sasaeng or just plain nuts, willing to do the most ghastly things, all for the “love” of an idol?
If you support an idol, it shouldn’t be because you are determined to break into their house, poison and attempt to seduce them, then try to marry them, but because you have a connection to their work, their art. their contributions to entertainment. Sure, you can have posters on your wall, buy some merch, and go to their shows, but don’t turn on them because they are living their lives and building a relationship.
That’s really all I have to say. I feel if I don’t explain it as best as possible, it would make no sense or I would look like a bitter, jealous, young person hater.
LEILA
I’m happy for them that they’re dating! Makes me think they’re healthy young men…guys their age need to be dating. If they’re not, it’s weird! Same with the girls. But then again, I don’t really have any fantasies about Baekhyun.
WIDNEY
It has something to do with trying to make the idols so accessible and down to earth to the point where we get a bunch of variety shows that take us inside of their dorms and follow their everyday lives. I mean I have never met these kids but I know what their rooms look like and most of their sleeping habits. So as a fan how do I know where the line between what is permitted and what isn’t when they shift it so often to accommodate their money route?
BRIE
I’ve totally said this before but if I found out that my bias was dating, I would legit be happy for the dude. Idol life is hard, let him have someone to share his downtime with, you know?
WIDNEY
But you’re married though, lol.
BRIE
So!
WIDNEY
What I mean by that is you’re not as emotionally invested as these fans who live off the fantasy of it all. Like these uncle fans for example:
Is it creepy? Sure, but that’s where the money comes from. Like the Shinhwa boys once said on Xman, “If you don’t have sasaeng fans, you’re a nobody.” Unless you’re obsessed or crazy, there is no way you’re going to buy every single piece of your bias’ merch that ever existed. That’s how companies measure your popularity and that’s how you get CFs and all the other gigs that are the main money makers. It sure ain’t the music. So knowing that, as a fan in your head your years of devotion made this person. They’ve done all that work and ask in return that their bias safeguard their fantasy, this make believe world in their head where their bias and them are together. The idols are not selling music, they are selling fantasies. And honestly the reality is we’re not talking about normal people like you and me, we’re talking about “Sung Shi Won” type of fans.
Leeteuk will forever me on my D-bag list, however I had to agree with him when he said on Strong Heart that he would never reveal his dating life to his fans out of respect to the fans. I respect that he doesn’t have the mentality of those who thought that he could use these kids for gain and fame but discard them once they’ve made it. And when you think about many of them dated during their debuting years but they never say anything. It’s because they know if they do the fans are going to walk away. So if after a few years you decide to say fuck it and fuck them, it’s no different than the idols saying “Well I don’t need y’all suckers anymore” and I think that’s a little disrespectful. It’s all in the way idols set the tone from the beginning of their career. If from the very beginning they were open about their lifestyles and dating, fans are will be more open-minded when a dating scandal break.
DEANNA
I disagree, Brie or anyone else could be just as invested even though they are married. The love you have for your significant other and the “love” you have for your bias are two very different things.
NANA
Widney, did you just say you respect my beloved Leeteuk?! I am so glad this is being documented for all of time.
THERESA
I think it’s especially true for more immature fans – they might be more likely to respond in anger and jealousy, whereas more mature fans might have a moment of sadness before celebrating the fact their bias is getting some. Because if Jongup started dating, I’d probably experience some bit of sadness, like DeAnna, before going “get it, get it,” and celebrating the fact that there is one person in the world that is getting up close and personal with that sweetie pie sex bomb.
LEILA
Well, my bias (G-Dragon) did date… secretly… and then had the most emo breakup in K-pop history. I didn’t like the gal much but I felt sorry he was having such a turbulent time. And still is… he’s probably fine and all, I’m not worried much.
But I guess if he were dating someone I didn’t like, I’d probably grumble about it. I wouldn’t yell things at him publicly, but in my head I’d be a bit sad at his choices. If he picked someone amazing, I’d just be jealous that they’re so perfect together. Hmm….guess this topic has more to do with fan psychology than idol life?
DEANNA
And we aren’t even as close to idols as family and friends are. No one knows what’s happening in someone’s relationship unless you are in it. (Not including those toxic relationships that are obviously bad, i.e. abusive ones).
SALIMA
What is it about K-pop, then? When Chris Brown and Rihanna first started dating, everyone was cool with it. When Biebs and Selena Gomez started dating people were cool with it for the most part. Hell, even when we found out Nichkhun and Tiffany were dating, people were rooting for them.
What is it about ByunTae that is making fans go bonkers?
LEILA
EXO fans are a whole different breed.
WIDNEY
It’s the fact that Baekhyun just debuted. SNSD fans used to be the same way too but they are grown and dating now. So don’t nobody care anymore.
DEANNA
Were Beliebers OK with it? I am genuinely asking because I don’t know. EXO stans have proved to be at the top of the crazy list. I think it’s because EXO is still relatively new. Back in the day a dating scandal would erupt after an idol was in the biz for a while or was retired. Think about it, SNSD have been idols for a while, so has 2pm and other idols that are now openly dating. No rookie-ish group has come open with a dating scandal like this really. Maybe fans feel like they didn’t have enough time. Plus 2PM and older groups have older, more rational fans.
THERESA
Nichkhun and Tiffany were kinda already accepted years before. There was even fanfiction for them. But ByunTae kinda came out of nowhere. It was a shock. And to add to all the drama, she’s older than him (dun, dun, DUUUUN!), which probably pisses off all of Baekhyun’s underage fans (like, seriously, how could they even compare?). It’s a relationship no one saw coming, and fans feel blindsided. This doesn’t excuse fan reactions, but with a fandom as delulu as EXO, it’s kind of standard.
SHARON
When the news first started going around, I don’t remember I-fans going delulu mad. I think it was after netizen reactions started coming out. Hell, there was a party on Tumblr full of funny stuff like this:
I don’t even understand what’s going on with K-fans. It all looks like bitter hating.
Actually, ByunTae already had a ship before it broke out. People were OK with the interaction and ships but suddenly not when it’s “real.”
I seriously don’t know what it is.
THERESA
I also think it has to do with the boost Baekhyun has been getting from SM.
He’s still kind of a rookie, and he hasn’t done a musical before, yet he gets a lead role in a musical Shawols thought Onew was going to shine in. He’s not your standard pretty boy, and K-netz tend to be less than kind to not-so-pretty-but-still-talented people. All this put him in a position that made him unlikeable to the K-netz, but then he goes and scores SNSD’s main voice? Nuh-uh, that run of good-luck is not allowed. Spread the begrudgery around!
Though international netizens seemed to have a ball with the whole thing.
DEANNA
I personally enjoy all the “Lay not getting to meet BaekHyun’s Grandma before TaeYeon” jokes. Context: In “EXO Showtime,” there was an episode where each member wrote down where they wanted to spend a day off. Lay wrote BaekHyun’s grandma’s. And if I am not mistaken, he mentions it a few other times in the show.
And this. (Some) I-fans are rather rational.
THERESA
OK, I gotta hand it to the EXO fandom for this – these jokes are hilarious, and contribute to improving their image/reassuring others that not all EXOtics are delulu.
SHARON
Chen got robbed. Just saying.
I thought Baekhyun was pretty popular. I don’t know, but bottom line is fans are delusional as fuck.
2. [+361, -84] Why EXO ㅡㅡ Baekhyun, you ba$tard, do you think you’re in any position to be dating right now? Do you realize what situation your team is in? It hasn’t even been that long since your debut and you’re dating?
Like for real. They behave as if they own them and are mad shit didn’t go their way. Do they have a right to feel that way? Yes, as much right as I have to be mad at Luhan for not running around shirtless. (The answer is no.)
DEANNA
News flash. We don’t own idols. Also, please elaborate on Chen getting robbed?
SHARON
Chen, musicals. He was supposed to be first! #Biased
WIDNEY
I don’t think EXO fans are any more crazy or delulu than all the other super groups fans like the ELFs, Hottest and Cassies used to be. Cassies used to poop in front of DBSK‘s dorms like dogs marking their territory. I mean, that’s the epitome of sasaeng to me. I honestly haven’t seen anything crazy like we used to have. Fun fact: one of the girls from Baby V.O.X. almost got killed by a H.O.T. fan for dating Tony. After the whole carving your bias name on your skin episode, I’m honestly not surprised by anything fans do anymore.
SHARON
My reaction to everything Widney just said:
OK, so maybe we haven’t had it thaaaat bad. But it still doesn’t excuse all the craziness.
LEILA
Whoa, whoa, whoa… To everything Widney said about saesang fans. That just blew my mind, and made me REALLY scared for the future of humanity.
WIDNEY
I don’t know y’all but if I buy all your shit, make you famous and go as hard as the K-fans do, don’t I kinda own you? Lol. It’s like politicians and taxes.
DEANNA
Widney, OK, now I am going to disagree with you. It feels more comfortable that way, lol. So since I love X-Men and I go to all the movies, does that mean I have a say in Hugh Jackman‘s marriage and how he raises his kids? Because that is pretty much what you just said. I also really LOVE to drink Blue Moon beer and I buy it often at the supermarket and grocery store. I am going to need to make sure the owner of Blue Moon is dating or married to someone I approve of.
SHARON
No, Widney.
But this is a problem though. K-fans go to all these fan signs and events. They end up on first name basis. Idols give fan service, one of a kind attention. Fans get obsessed with whatever you want to call this fan-idol relationship. They love them, gift them expensive shit and the minute they do something they don’t like or want it’s “bye bye, How could you after everything I’ve done for youuuuuuuu.”
This is a nasty relationship and companies/idols share the blame.
How did you react to the news of ByunTae? Do you think idols should be allowed to date freely, or are they obligated to remain single to fulfill the fantasies of their loyal and paying fans? Let us know in the comments below!
(Sources: Nate, NetizenBuzz)
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